Boundaries are the limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships. They define where we end and others begin, protecting our physical and emotional wellbeing while allowing for healthy connections. This worksheet will help you assess your current boundaries, identify areas for growth, and develop strategies for establishing and maintaining healthier boundaries in your relationships.
Print this worksheet or complete it digitally.
Part 1: Understanding Your Current Boundaries
Rate each statement on a scale of 1-5:
1 = Never true for me
2 = Rarely true for me
3 = Sometimes true for me
4 = Often true for me
5 = Almost always true for me
Physical Boundaries
Emotional Boundaries
Time and Energy Boundaries
Part 2: Boundary Assessment Results
Transfer your totals from each section:
Interpretation:
- 5-10: This area needs significant attention and development
- 11-15: This area has some challenges that need addressing
- 16-20: This area has moderate strength with room for improvement
- 21-25: This area shows strong, healthy boundaries
My strongest boundary areas are:
My boundary areas needing the most improvement are:
Part 3: Boundary Violation Patterns
Reflect on your relationships and identify patterns where your boundaries are frequently crossed or where you struggle to maintain them.
Common Signs of Boundary Issues
Check all that apply to you:
Specific Boundary Challenges
For each relationship category, identify specific boundary challenges you experience:
Family relationships:
Romantic relationships:
Friendships:
Work/Professional relationships:
Digital/Online interactions:
Part 4: Understanding Your Boundary Beliefs
Our beliefs about boundaries often stem from childhood experiences, cultural messages, and past relationships. Reflect on the following questions:
1. What messages did you receive about boundaries growing up?
2. What fears arise when you think about setting firmer boundaries?
3. What beliefs do you hold that make it difficult to maintain boundaries?
(Examples: "Setting boundaries is selfish," "People won't like me if I say no," "I should always be available to help")
4. How have your past experiences influenced your current boundary patterns?
Part 5: Developing Healthier Boundaries
Choose 2-3 boundary areas you want to strengthen, based on your assessment above.
Boundary Area 1:
Specific situation where I need better boundaries:
What a healthy boundary would look like in this situation:
Potential obstacles to setting this boundary:
How I will communicate this boundary (specific words/phrases):
How I will respond if this boundary is tested or violated:
Boundary Area 2:
Specific situation where I need better boundaries:
What a healthy boundary would look like in this situation:
Potential obstacles to setting this boundary:
How I will communicate this boundary (specific words/phrases):
How I will respond if this boundary is tested or violated:
Boundary Area 3:
Specific situation where I need better boundaries:
What a healthy boundary would look like in this situation:
Potential obstacles to setting this boundary:
How I will communicate this boundary (specific words/phrases):
How I will respond if this boundary is tested or violated:
Part 6: Boundary Setting Scripts
Practice crafting clear, direct statements for setting boundaries in different situations:
Saying No
"I'm not able to _____ because _____. Instead, I could _____."
Example: "I'm not able to work this weekend because I've committed to family time. Instead, I could help you on Monday morning."
Your script:
Setting Limits on Time
"I can help with _____ for _____ amount of time, and then I need to _____."
Example: "I can talk about this issue for 30 minutes, and then I need to get back to my work."
Your script:
Addressing Boundary Violations
"When you _____, I feel _____. In the future, I need _____."
Example: "When you call me after 10pm, I feel stressed because it interrupts my sleep. In the future, I need you to contact me during daytime hours unless it's an emergency."
Your script:
Expressing Needs
"I need _____ in order to _____."
Example: "I need 30 minutes of quiet time after work in order to decompress and be more present with the family afterward."
Your script:
Part 7: Boundary Maintenance Plan
Daily Practices to Strengthen Boundaries
Check the practices you commit to implementing:
Support System
Identify people who support your boundary-setting efforts:
Accountability Plan
How will you track your progress with boundaries?
How will you celebrate boundary-setting successes?
How will you respond to setbacks with compassion?
Part 8: Boundary Progress Tracking
Use this section to document your boundary-setting experiences:
| Date | Boundary Situation | How I Responded | What Went Well | What I'll Do Differently | Feelings Afterward |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Remember:
- Setting boundaries is an act of self-respect, not selfishness
- Healthy boundaries create the foundation for authentic relationships
- Boundaries may feel uncomfortable at first but become easier with practice
- You have the right to protect your physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing
- Boundaries can be firm while still being kind and respectful
This worksheet is designed for personal growth and does not replace professional therapy or counseling. If you're experiencing significant challenges with boundaries, consider working with a qualified mental health professional.